Wow I’m late on updating this. I’m going to chalk it up to giving the new battery a test run before reporting in.

Truth be told I’d completely forgotten to update until a recent wave of people finding this spot again. So, for all of you stumbling across this blog while trying to find out more about nerve stimulators or New Daily Persistent Headache, this one is for you.

So I got a call from my Neurosurgeon’s office and managed to get in for surgery right before Christmas! That was an amazing Christmas present if you ask me. Surgery itself was as nice and smooth as always. Apparently I was awake the whole time, but I have 0 recollection of it. Afterwards with my surgeon the conversation went a little like this:

Doc: “Hey Donna, what was that card game you were mentioning? Over…over something?”
Me: “Overwatch?”
Doc: “Yeah that’s the one!”
Me: “That’s not a card game…. Was I high? How high was I?”
Doc: *chuckling* “Oh, you were pretty out of it”
Me: “….did I say anything else”
Doc: *still laughing* “We talked quite a bit. Don’t worry about it”

…I’ll admit, as much as I love getting to talk to my surgeon, I’m a little glad he wasn’t at my followup. My imagination has run pretty wild trying to think of the things I could have said while out of it.

So before they had put me under, they’d backed up all my settings. I was really glad of it because it took quite a bit of programming the first time around to find something that worked well for me. I can only do the programming portion with the Medtronic rep, and it’s a lot of fine tuning of change setting, zap face, see if it covers the areas you need. The experience can change from pin point sensation, to creating an entire radius in different parts of your skin. My old settings created a radius to cover the nerve sensation at the inner most point of my eyebrow, and the sensation spread upward. After surgery, that same program was creating a very small area of sensation that felt significantly more narrow and intense, which doesn’t help in my situation. Turns out there was a change in how the voltage works between models. There is a bit of a language barrier between myself and the rep lady there (my french is garbage and technical terms are hard), but from what I gather one unit was AC current, and the other is DC. So it created a very different sensation. Programming your device right after surgery is quite hard. You’re still on drugs, and getting a good feel for what will work is really hard while dealing with post op pain. I highly recommend doing the best you can the day of, and making sure you do a follow up with the rep if you can’t get it 100% the first time around. I cannot stress this enough: Do not stress if you don’t get immediate relief. Surgery is hard on you, it doesn’t mean it won’t work, it just means you might have to heal a little before you can find the settings that work for you.

So with all my settings squared away, I was sent home to rest up and recover. Went through the usual post op work. Keep covered for a few days, then you can remove the bandages. I asked the surgical team to throw in a few extra stitches this time around and I’m glad I did.  I found it a little more comfortable while they were in, and it healed up nicely. Probably less of an issue for guys, but I’d recommend for ladies or anyone who has more pulling in that area.

Second Surgery vs First Surgery

Another thing I did differently this time around was better wound care. After the wound was completely closed and the stitches came out, I used Vaseline on the area to keep it moisturized. I made sure to always wash off the last batch before applying any new, which was no issue because I was very much eager to get back into showers since my post-surgery shower ban. There was still some pulling, so I made sure to wear a bra 100% of the time (even a swimsuit top in the shower) but the amount of itching was waaaay down this time.

That brings us to today, roughly 9 months post op.  Everything has healed up well, and I’m super happy with the size of this new battery. It’s made a big difference in how comfortable it is (for the ladies, push up bras were needed to support it before. Now I still need to wear a bra but it’s waaaay more comfortable).

Every week I sit down with Netflix for an hour or two, and “recharge”. Mandatory downtime is also kind of awesome 😀

So life is good!

As one would expect from part human, part machine, food is a difficult situation from me. Even if you disregard the concept of “what does a cyborg eat?” it’s more of a question of “If we had to put a battery in her, something was probably wrong to begin with”. And they would be right. So to take care of some somewhat/maybe/mildly/whothefuckknows related issues, I’m stuck on what is called a ketogenic diet.

Now, you may ask, “What the hell is a ketogenic diet? And why is this on a geek blog?” Roughly put, a ketogenic diet is a low carbohydrate, high fat diet meant to put your body into a state in which it starts producing “ketones”. This allows your body to use fats as fuel instead of carbs. Many people use this for weight loss, but doctors often prescribe it for things like preventing seizures, or in my case, to limit the severity of allergic reactions. So why am I posting about this on a geek blog? Well for one, science is cool. Second, more than being a geek blog, this is blog is about entertainment! And so help me, these cooking adventures have been as entertaining as they have been monstrous.

This is my second time on a ketogenic diet, and I quickly learned the first time around that your best bet on a low carb diet is stick with what is naturally low carb. Steak, cheese, veggies, are all great options. This time I wanted to have some fun with it. Just how close can you get to “bread” without using flour, or yeast, or you know, most things you’d find in bread. They make it look so easy! I’ve been collecting these amazing looking substitutes on pinterest for some time now, and thought I’d share with you as I try them. Now I was a bad baker beforehand. Adding in these new “requirements” has only complicated the matter. Trying to find new ways to make things rise, soft, sweet, without using conventional methods takes research, and sometimes it feels like, a science degree. So to quote Mark Watney from The Martian:

“I’m going to have to science the shit out of this”

Tonight’s adventure is one I picked up from Pinterest called a “Sugar Free Skillet Brownie”. I won’t use the photo or put a link, because I know I can’t do it justice and that’s not fair to the author. Rest assured it looks pretty damned tasty in their professional looking photos. It uses erythritol, unsweetened chocolate, an unholy amount of butter, and she says you can use almond flour. Ok, let’s do this.

Well, I made a thing.

In the fancy professional photos it looks a lighter brown, decently thick, and, well, brownie like. I will give myself bonus points for colour matching the brownie to the cast iron. Funny enough, this isn’t burnt. Honestly. That’s just the colour. It’s also very, very flat. It does smell a little like burnt popcorn though.

I think I shall dub this “Sugar Free Chocolate-ish Carbon”. Add this and a healthy dose of cool whip, then add more cool whip, and a bit more and you might have yourself a dessert.

So I have a bit of an issue.

I’ve been thinking of a cosplay concept, but it’s a little on the revealing side of things. I won’t give it all away here, but it will involve wearing a bikini. The reactions I’ve had so far have been mixed. A lot of people seem to fall into the category of “Oh god, that would be hilarious! Do it!”. But some are concerned that I would be garnering unwanted attention.

Here’s the thing: When I’m not in a bikini, I still get comments.

For example, while working as a medical first responder, I wear a uniform that consists of a junior boys dress shirt and cargo pants. It buttons to the collar, and has the approximate shape of a burlap sack. I wear my hair tied back, and very minimal makeup. I’m not dressed to impress, and most people mistake me for a security guard. Yet every time I wear this uniform I get some form of spectacularly bad pickup line. Not even the kind I get when I’m dressed up for a night out. We’re talking the really cheesy/awkward/weird shit. Here are some of my favorites.

“Quick I need help! My heart is broken and only you can mend it. I need a medic.”

*after taking a photo of his convention booth* “It’s been a long time since a girl has taken a photo of me with my clothes on.”

I am literally dressed like a young boy. I have no shape. I am not wearing anything revealing, I am not even really distinguishable from the next person in my unit.

After the mixed reviews to my costume concept, I really became hesitant to wear it. That was until, after a few glasses of rum and company with a good friend, I began to realize that it really doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. It could be a bikini. Or it could be a god damned sack. People are still going to say shit.

I feel safe at conventions, regardless of what I’m wearing. For any one person who would start getting creepy enough to try and cop a feel, there are at least 5 people around who would not tolerate said unwelcome behavior. The community is great, we’re dressing as our favorite characters, and regardless of how that character dresses, cosplayers understand. And because of that, I feel comfortable enough showing up to a con of 60,000 people wearing a bikini type costume and not fear for my safety.

And for the people who are going to dislike the concept because of how little it involves?

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’ve had a few rage fulled posts on here about things that tick me off. I feel the need to add some balance. So, here’s a list of things that have made me very happy lately.

1. Oath of the Gatekeepers Pre-Release

I did the pre-release with a few friends at Wizard’s Tower . Was I particularly amazed by the set? Not really. The clouds did not part and shine light upon some mechanic or mythic rare that completely changed my life.

What I did have was a really freaking good time. I love the two headed giant format. As a fairly casual player, it’s always appealed to the parts I love most about magic, which is playing with friends, and finding new and interesting ways to make said friends flip a table. It’s a fantastic social way to play, and this new set really lends itself really well to the format. The surge mechanic has it right in the text: “You may cast a spell for its surge cost if you or a teammate have cast another spell in the same turn”.  I’m a fairly slow build kind of player, and having a partner who describes himself as “a suicidal death monkey red player” works really well for me. Got two players who love blue and red and pair them up? Surge cost for everything!

Wizards of the Coast showing some love the the 2HG format wasn’t the only thing that made me love the pre-release. The atmosphere and players at Wizard’s Tower are what keep me coming back. Even the most competitive players were still friendly and fun to play with, which is a relief. As I mentioned before, I’m not a super competitive kind of player, and in the past that has sometimes aggravated the more serious players. It’s this kind of community that makes me comfortable bringing in new people to my favorite pass times.

Hell, both my partner and I had decided to play a rather chunky 60 card decks. At one point, without thinking, I made a comment to my new opponents along the lines of “Aww look how small their decks are!”…..

Thank you guys for having a sense of humor, and not ragging on me too hard when I turned bright red.

2. Playing interactive graphic adventure horror survival ….wait a minute

What the hell do you even call this genre? I’ve tried looking it up and I cannot for the life of me find a generally accepted name for this type of video game. Here’s what I’ve got from Wikipedia:

Life is Strange: “graphic adventure video game”
Telltale’s GoT:  “graphic adventure fantasy drama video game”
Until Dawn: “interactive drama survival horror adventure video game”

Holy hell, they just keep getting longer and longer… Screw it, I’m calling them “Player choice” games.

Back on point, I’ve been playing a lot of these games lately and the more I play, the more I find myself loving the genre. Yes they’re stupidly casual. They don’t require you to be good at timing jumps, or aiming shots. At most you have to be good at quick time events, but even those are generally far and few between. The real skill in these games lies with your coping mechanisms. Some of the best games in the genre are fantastically written. These games get me invested in them like a good novel would, but the adding of graphics and music just make it that much more immersive. You get attached to the characters, invested in the relationships. And when something happens, you feel it. To prove my case, I give you Exhibit A:

Exhibit A: Nick losing his shit

Here we have Nick’s reaction playing Telltale’s Game of Thrones. This particular blanket eating was due to Nick choosing the option that I suggested, only to immediately regret it. I still don’t think he’s fully forgiven me for some of my choices in our playthrough.

These games have been a pretty big hit at our regular game nights as well. There is something fun about having a regular group of people yelling answers on a time sensitive situation and seeing what mayhem we end up with. These are also the kind of game that I can sit down and just enjoy on my own. If you’re looking for an immersive game with a story that will leave you itching for more, I’d recommend any of the games I listed above.

Be forewarned though, with at least one of these games my lasting reaction was “I need a hug”.

If you’ve followed my previous blog posts, you’ll remember that I wrote about being yourself online in order to build better professional relationships. I added a specific caveat to the exception of if you were an “unlovable monster”.

As if the universe was intentionally trying to prove me wrong, my Facebook wall has been filled with examples that have made me reconsider enough to add one more scenario to the exclusions list. If you feel the need to spread hate messages about specific groups, you might want to consider keeping your professional and your personal pages separate.

Now, all the points from my previous post do still apply to these people too. By posting these things, you’re probably only going to attract like minded people, and you’ll probably enjoy working with them more. By posting things on your Facebook wall including long winded rants about how “There is no difference between Nazis and Islam” you probably aren’t going to attract many Muslim clients, which you probably prefer. And I can understand the hypocrisy of my telling people to be themselves, and then suggesting that someone with a different opinion to mine should keep their opinions to themselves for the sake of professionalism.

In a case like Facebook, the damage of posting unpopular opinions goes beyond just not attracting clients. There is a hazard for other professionals appearing on your friends list. Realtors and mortgage brokers generally will add just about anyone to Facebook, and showing up on the friends list of someone posting hate speech might look negatively on them too.

So where then do we draw the line? Only voice the opinions you have that are popular? You know, I don’t actually have an answer to this one. I would fully welcome an open discussion on this topic, because I would be curious to see what people think. But I think I’ve hit my “being PC” limit for the day.

What I will say is my own opinion is this: If I see one more ignorant, racist, uneducated scare tactic rant on my god damned feed from someone in my industry, your ass is getting unfriended so fast it will make your head spin.

This past Friday I partook in my annual tradition of dressing up as a Zombie and appearing on TV.

A bit of context here. I’m a committee member for the Zombie Run for Humanity. It’s a 5 KM obstacle run to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. You can either sign up as a runner, or a zombie. Runners get 3 flags around their waists that represents their life. Zombies, however, are throughout the course and will try to take those flag from you. One of the coolest parts of being a zombie is that you’ll get your makeup professionally done. The amazing talents over at On Scene FX take care of all our zombies, all they have to do is bring their own costume.

Each year CTV Morning Live invites us to talk about the run. Well, Susan talks. I more grunt, growl and snap at people. So pretty much what you’d expect out of me considering I have to be up at 4:30 in the morning.

This is the “life cast” process to make a mold of my face. This was done 2 weeks in advance so that Michel could make prosthetics custom made to fit me.

Here’s how the morning goes. I get up at 4:30, put in contacts, and head downtown to be in the makeup chair for 6 A.M. Overall it takes about 2 hours to do my makeup. It’s a combination of premade prosthetics, alcohol based paints, and some creative touches.

Here are the custom prosthetics. We didn’t end up using all of them.
3 guesses as to which one got the most comments when people saw it.

Prosthetic applied but not painted yet.

The finished product

It’d be a waste to spend 2 hours on makeup and take it off right after the TV spot, so Susan, Jasmine and I decided to hit the town. We went to Algonquin College, Bayshore Mall, Tanger Outlets and anywhere folks on Twitter and Facebook requested we show up.

I don’t think I’m exactly what Bayshore wants promoting their clothes.

Throughout the day, we made a few interesting observations.

1. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens, rush hour traffic will doom us all

You would not believe the sheer number of people who did not notice a zombie in the car next to them. I mean, it’s not like I was quietly minding my own business. I was clawing at the window, waving, the whole zombie shebang. Eventually I started keeping a tally. Most people laughed, no absolutely terrified people (which is nice, because I didn’t want to get run off the road), but most amusing were the people who saw me and actively ignored me. You would think they’d gotten into an intense staring contest with the traffic lights.

Best part: Of the two people who didn’t notice me because they were on their phones, one of them was an OPP officer.

2. Kids notice everything.

I was amazed by just how many people didn’t notice me at all. Walking around Bayshore Shopping Center some people laughed, some people ignored me, but some just honestly didn’t notice. They would look right through me and not notice at all. However, every single kid saw me. Some would tug on their completely spaced out parents until they finally turned to see what the kid was going on about. It reminded me of all those horror movie cliches where kids would keep trying to tell adults something was wrong, only to be dismissed.

3. My face causes accidents.

Last year some poor kid at Algonquin walked straight into a wall when he did a double take when he saw me. This year, some poor woman saw me while coming down the escalator from the food court. She ran so fast off the escalator that she tripped, scrambled to get up, and ran even faster down the hall. The group of teens behind her lost it. Sorry lady!

4. Dancing makes everything better.

One thing I would feel bad about is if I scared the kids. They’re not our target audience anyway (Zombie Run is 15+) so I’d feel bad if I gave some poor kid nightmares. I’d actively avoid them in the mall if I could, but in the cases I couldn’t, I’d dance. And you know what? It worked 99% of the time. The reaction of the scared kids was the same every single time.

• Stage 1: Stunned into silence. Usually mouth open, eyes always wide.
• Stage 2: Dancing begins
• Stage 3: A giant smile

5. Animals just don’t give a shit.

I was fully expecting animals to have an issue with me. I smelled like a combination of rubbing alcohol and death thanks to the makeup and stuff used to stain my dress. I’ve seen dogs freak out at people they knew in motorcycle armour. But dogs and cats alike kept running up and acting like I was their best friend.

He looks terrified, but I swear he wasn’t!

We wrapped up around 4pm, and I started the taking off the makeup. Removal was an interesting process. Fun fact, alcohol based paints don’t come off with water. But after some rubbing alcohol, peeling and scrubbing I eventually looked human. My shower however looked like a murder scene.

You know when women say they have to “put on their face”?

I’m looking a little patchwork

All done!

So there you go! A better insight to what happens when you’re the walking dead in the nation’s capital. I guess the only thing left to do is leave you with a video of a dancing zombie. Don’t forget to register for Zombie Run happening on October 3rd!

This is a topic pretty near and dear to my heart.

When you own your own business, you are your brand. Yes, you can be part of larger brands as well, but how you convey yourself will ultimately be what draws a client to you. The first reaction of a new real estate agent is typically the same: How do I look like I know what I’m doing? The old adage of fake it til you make it holds a lot of weight. No one wants to hire the awkward duckling, so they dress nice, get some fancy looking headshots, and start trying to look like the industry professional you’d expect. I’m 100% guilty of this too:

Let’s face it, I look like a 40 year old soulless porcelain doll.

I felt there was a certain image that was required. Every question I had now had a new angle to it: “How does it look professionally?”. My plan for my next car had always been a Subaru Impreza WRX, because I am a sucker for the sound of a turbo blow off. Now I felt my next car has to portray success, adding an extra “Wow” factor to my image. While my gearhead clients could appreciate my choice in a WRX, it doesn’t scream “look at my success!” like a BMW or a Mercedes would to the average person. The majority of my hobbies are of the geeky variety, which when you’re in an industry where the average age is 57 years old means you don’t come across a lot of coworkers with similar interests. They’ve been in the business a long time and when I mention my hobbies and they back away slowly like they might catch the crazy, I stopped mentioning them.

So when you are your brand, how do you balance your work self and your real self? If Facebook is any indication, the work self eats your personal self until there is nothing left. Or at least that’s the impression I get from the people I add on facebook who’s only posts are “Look at my listing!” and “Here are the most recent mortgage rates!”. (Seriously, stop it). Is it unprofessional to be yourself? Do you really need to hide who you are from your clients? If you feel like you do, I think we might need to spend some time working on your self esteem. Letting your clients know not only how amazing you are at your job, but who you are as a person, makes you more human.

I decided to make a change. I started adding my clients on Facebook, and posted a mix of business, and personal. I blogged about not just my industry, but about things important to me. I switched up my marketing to be more in line with my personality. No more creepy soulless doll photos, but marketing that I knew appealed to me, and in turn appeals to similarly minded people.

That’s right. I made myself a Magic card.

When I made the change, something amazing happened. People started talking about me, sharing my stories, telling people about my geeky business cards, or even about how they met this “cool real estate person”. That conversation led to people referring me as an agent. Best of all, my client base became not only like minded people, but many of them become friends. Are there some people who might think I’m not their kind of agent because of my personality? Maybe. But my clients are the kind of people I like to be around on a personal level, not just a professional one, and it’s made my life and my career that much more enjoyable.

So unless you’re some kind of unlovable monster, why not let your clients know you? Be more than just a facebook wall full of listings, more than just a suit, and this business gets pretty amazing. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t let your business self take over your real self. You’re more than your career.

Today I was sent an article from several of my real estate pals about an unfortunate incident involving an email scam. From what I can find in the news articles, a buyer received an email from her agent saying that $10,000 was needed for title insurance. The problem was, it wasn’t the realtor who sent the message, and now this buyer is out $10,000.

Realtor’s security breach costs young home buyer $10K

All around this has been a really unfortunate story. What’s killing me though is the response. By now you’d expect I’d have learned to not read the comments that come with these articles, but it’s tech and real estate and apparently I’m some kind of masochist, so I dove in.

My first issue is with the buyer’s lawyer’s statement:

“But the brokerage says “when used properly” Gmail can be a safe means for business email.
Lawyer Samantha Keser, who represents DiMarco, disagrees.
She calls the agent and the brokerage “negligent” for not using email servers with firewalls and encryption software to handle sensitive, personal information.”

Now, the article itself is lacking some information, so this is going to be speculation on my part based off of my personal experience as an IT person and having worked with Realtors for the past 3 years. I don’t think this was some master hacker running a man in the middle attack on the Realtor’s network, cracking her passwords, or any super spy stuff you see in the movies. I can almost guarantee that the vulnerability in the agent’s email account came from one of the following:

1. A phishing scam to get the agent’s login info, much like the scam that took the money from the buyer
2. An insecure password recovery question like “What’s my dog’s name” where the answer is easily found online
3. She left her account logged in somewhere publicly accessible

Email spoofing is also insanely easy to do and make it seem like the email came from the Realtor’s account, but assuming the reporters got their terminology correct, it seems like they’re implying that the account was hacked and the person was able to send emails as the Realtor from within the account.

The lawyer mentioned gmail being an insecure platform. Except that it’s been widely recognized that Google Apps for Business is a solid choice for small businesses. Now as for the claims that she should have been using a firewall and encryption? If this was someone using a brute force password attack after managing to break their way onto her network, then maybe that would have helped. But regardless on if it was the Realtor’s account that was compromised, or an email spoofing scam that the buyer responded to, the fact remains that the security is only as strong as the person who holds the keys.

All the encryption in the world isn’t going to save her if she was caught in a scam and gave the information they needed to get in. Demanding that the agent should have had encrypted her email is like a child demanding a nightlight to keep them safe. It’ll make them feel better, but if they left the door unlocked the monsters can still get in.

In the mix among all the comments are everything from victim shaming to a witch hunt against the Realtor. The way I see it, both got duped. It’s unfortunate, police should be involved, but a lawsuit based on the claim that the Realtor should have encrypted her email is ridiculous.

I’ll be curious to see the outcome of this if it goes to court. I imagine the fact that as Realtors our clients are owed fiduciary duty by us that there is more liability and higher standard of care expected of the realtor than if it was just a friend who’s email was hacked. Requiring all realtors to use encryption and two step authentication though? The Ottawa Real Estate Board, up until last month, still required me to tell them my MLX password verbally over the phone to verify me. Seeing them implement encryption would be possibly the funniest and most painful thing I’ve ever seen.